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Saturday, November 23, 2019

'SNL' has Alec Baldwin's Trump take questions about Sondland and impeachment

He just did so near a loud helicopter.
"Look, I know you probably have a lot of questions for me about this impeachment nonsense," Baldwin's Trump said. "I'd love to answer every single one of them, believe me I do, but as you can see from this very loud, running helicopter behind me I'm in a big, big hurry right now. So I don't really have the time but everything is perfect, okay?"
Despite the loud helicopter, the NBC variety show had Baldwin's Trump answer questions from reporters about the testimony of Ambassador Gordon Sondland, who implicated Trump in pressuring Ukraine to investigate his political rival earlier this week.
The latest on the Trump impeachment inquiry
"I can't really hear you that good because of this lousy chopper behind me, but it sounds like you said Sondland's testimony completely exonerated me, and I totally agree with that," Baldwin's Trump said.
Baldwin's Trump then said that he wrote down notes from Sondland's testimony.
"I used the biggest, fattest, blackest magic marker I could find," he said. "I love black magic markers by the way — I know most people use Sharpie's — they smell like licorice."
A reporter then asked which part of Sondland's testimony Trump thought proved his innocence.
"It's right here in my notes of super important conversations on the phone I've had," he responded. "I'll read one, but then I have to split. This is me and Ambassador Sondland talking. He says to me, 'what do you want?' And I answer, 'two large pies, extra cheese, extra sauce. No, wait, wait, wait. That's a different phone call."
Baldwin's Trump then found his actual notes.
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"I said to Sondland, 'I want nothing. No quid pro quo, bro.' See? It's right here in black licorice. Case closed," he said.
SNL's commander-in-chief then said he didn't even know Sondland. Then Will Ferrell, this week's host, showed up as the Ambassador.
"Keep the quid pro quo on the low low. Got it," Ferrell's Sondland said to Baldwin's Trump. "I just want to go on the record and say, 'you guys need to lay off my boy.'"
Ferrell's Sondland then said everyone loves Trump like Ukraine and Russia.
"They will do anything for this man. I know I asked," he said as Trump was trying to get him to stop talking.
Baldwin's Trump then rushed off, but before he left he said the show's signature catch phrase: "Live... from New York! It's Saturday night!"

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